on the verge of extinction... again

zi bogata

... in aniversari! Si alte evenimente...

Cine ma cunoaste stie cat imi plac Twisted Sister. I-am descoperit in 2005 (pe vremea cand nici macar nu aveam net acasa si eram un mic parazit pe spinarea colegilor), cu videoclipul pentru Be Chrool to Your Scuel in care apare si Alice Cooper. Mie chiar mi-a placut, insa aproape toti cei carora le-am aratat noua mea descoperire s-au aratat scarbiti - drace, numai oameni care si-au pierdut simtul umorului am in jur? Apoi am inceput sa sap dupa alte chestii de-ale lor. Am dat de videoclipurile pentru We're Not Gonna Take It si I Wanna Rock, probabil cele mai cunoscute creatii ale lor. Si apoi, incet-incet, am descoperit si restul discografiei. Stay Hungry este impecabil. Absolut toate piesele sunt excelente. All killer and no filler. Cand am citit inceputul articolului asta, n-am putut sa nu ma gandesc la faptul ca am onoarea sa fiu nascuta in anul in care a iesit si Stay Hungry si ca poate as fi impartit si ziua de nastere cu cel mai bun album Twisted Sister, daca as fi avut rabdare sa ma nasc si eu ca oamenii normali. Insa cu siguranta n-am iesit mai frumoasa sau mai putin colorata decat Dee Snider pe coperta albumului - mamaia spune ca eram mov si ca i-a fost frica sa intrebe daca sunt vie sau...

drops of sadness: sometimes... i enjoy making mistakes

Sometimes... I don't think I can work hard for too long in order to get what I want. Sometimes... I want to have it fast, I want to have it easy.

It's not a badge of honour, it's not something to brag about, it's not something I'm proud of by any means. It's just a state of fact.

Yet... it is enjoyable at times. I would have turned back real soon if I didn't truly enjoy it. Now it's much too late. The dirtiest thing about this is that, once you've cheated your way into getting something, you'll have to cover your tracks, weave an ever more complicated web of lies... every day... for the rest your life. Unless... you're willing to face the consequences, lose it all and even more.

And I don't want to lose it all. Ten years down this road and I don't intend to turn back. I know now. I've known for almost two years. I'd rather risk my life than face the consequences. I was afraid, I didn't want to die, but I just told myself that whatever becomes, it becomes. And I was not going to tell anybody.

In spite of the fact that it's all not really working for me that well anymore. Old tricks aren't working so well anymore. I always have to find new ones, more and more extreme, more and more dangerous. And sometimes it strikes back. But if I give it up, all Hell will break loose.

It's the only thing that makes me really happy at times, despite making me miserable on other occasions. And despite being what's probably going to take my life.

Fallen Angel. I've been thinking about this while I was having a shower. And this was the song that started just after I came back into my room. How ironic... win big, lose big, wants it all, lose it all - now doesn't that sound familiar?