on the verge of extinction... again

Pentru ca sunt din nou in starea aia care acum o saptamana ma facea sa scriu o postare numita "cand nu-ti mai place ceea ce-ti place si nu mai vrei sa faci ceea ce vrei sa faci". Care n-a aparut. M-am razgandit si n-am mai publicat-o.

Pentru ca ma sperie ingrozitor cum gandesc.

I-am descoperit... nu mai stiu exact cand, in orice caz, au trecut mai mult de patru ani. Mi-au placut si de atunci au intrat din cand in cand in playlist. Insa nu m-am uitat niciodata la un concert de-al lor de la cap la coada. Pana saptamana trecuta.

Si trebuie sa recunosc ca mi-a cam picat mandibula pe tastatura. Concerte de trei- patru ore (asta in timp ce altii, nu mai in varsta si mult mai statici pe scena se plang ca o ora si jumatate egal foarte obositor), pline de momente intense. Yoshiki mi se pare fenomenal, atat la pian, cat si la tobe. De multe ori ii da inainte pana cand ceva cedeaza. Foarte la propriu. Fie face praf tobele, fie pica el lat. Si inca sare de pe scena in public.

Mai jos, o mostra. Nu, nu e concert intreg - e o singura piesa. De jumatate de ora1.

[...]
Can't go back... no place to go back to...
[...]
If it's all dreams... now wake me up, if it's all real... just kill me...
[...]
The scream deep inside reflecting another person in my heart, he calls me from within
"All existence you see before you must be wiped out: Dream, Reality, Memories, and Yourself"
I begin to lose control of myself, my lust is so blind, destroys my mind, nobody can stop my turning to madness...
[...]
Stab the dollls filled with hate, wash yourself with their blood, drive into the raging current of time...
[...]
Cannot start to live, cannot end my life... keep on crying...
[...]
Dry my tears, wipe my bloody face, I wanna feel me living my life outside my walls...
[...]
You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so you're painting your heart with your blood...
[...]
You build a wall of morality and take a breath from between the bricks...
[...]
You're satisfied with your prologue, now you're painting your first chapter black
You're putting the scraps of life together and trying to make an asylum for yourself...
[...]
Art of life...
I try to stop myself, but my heart goes to destroy the truth... tell me why...
[...]
Dreams can make me mad, I can't leave my dream...I can't stop myself, don't know what I am...What lies are truths? What truths are lies?
[...]

• ¹ Pentru cine n-are timp sau chef, altceva mai scurt din aceeasi perioada. ➚