on the verge of extinction... again

Quireboys. Incerc sa-mi aduc aminte cand i-am descoperit. Exact nu mai tin minte. Era pe la sfarsitul lui 2004- inceputul lui 2005 cand tot mergeam pe la colegi cu net sa-mi caut muzici. Si documentare despre muzici. Pentru ca asa am aflat de ei - din documentarul Hard 'N' Heavy (sa ma ia dracu', acum nu-l mai gasesc pe net, tin insa minte foarte clar momentele cu Motorhead, Alice Cooper - "my first album, sold fourteen copies; my mother got twelve of them; second album, sold eighteen copies... Zesty's mint flavoured fake stage blood", Quireboys - vocea lui Spike, Whitesnake - discutand despre noul Fool for Your Loving cu Steve Vai, Winger, Alice in Chains - Layne cu aripa rupta). Atunci m-a impresionat vocea lui Spike. Si asta m-a facut sa incep sa vanez orice tinea de ei. Cumva, azi mi-a venit in minte piesa asta.

It's the last time. The last time I do something for my parents. And I'm scared. And I'm not sure I can do it. Chances are I won't be able to. I'm like the fox without the bag of elaborate tricks. And, if I get caught, I lose a lot. I lose a lot of people's trust and support. If I don't do it... I don't even want to think about the reproaches, about what they might do. What's worse, if I try and fail, it's just the same... plus the nervewreck. If I try, get caught and thus fail, I lose everything. This one time I'm without my big bag of tricks that might preclude getting caught. I'll either get caught or get cold feet and give up. I'm on the verge of losing everything... I somehow actually want it to happen. I want to blow it all, to lose it all. To start everything over. Though I know I'm not able to. This is the end.